The Art Of Not Having A F****** Clue
I had no f****** clue what I wanted to do with my life. I still don’t. So, I graduated with degrees in completely unrelated fields and called it a life plan.
In retrospect, it was probably more of a cry for help.
I love writing. It’s one of the few absolute truths in my life. It’s the kind of love that is all-consuming and convinces me to stay up into late hours of the night and suffer from raging imposter syndrome. A love that takes ten years off my life every time I sit down to do it.
The best way I can describe it is that it’s a love of my life that never turns off. I’m constantly taking meticulous notes in my head, desperate to write down a line that dawns on me when I’m driving, or shopping, or with friends. I’m polluting my Notes app when I’m on a run, and think up characters when I meet knew people.
The kind of love that makes a person helpless in the best possible way. I am at my mind’s mercy.
But I was afraid of making it my sole career path, for fear of putting all my eggs in one basket, and then coming to resent the hell out of the basket.
What if I only like writing because it’s a passion?
It might be true. I have no idea, and I certainly didn’t want to test the theory if it meant putting this fundamental piece of my life at risk. So, I went around, promoting myself on LinkedIn as the jack of all trades and master of none #opentowork.
Most responded with “go look somewhere else.”
I believe it is a twentysomething rite of passage to truly and utterly question what right you have to do anything in the world. But as I navigated this throng of coursework and career paths these last few years, I punctuated the windy road with my passion. I met Rayne and crafted her world and gave her an awesome, self-deprecating personality a lot like my own. I gave her heartache and curated her trauma with a gentle touch, and most importantly, I made sure she had no f****** clue. About anything. And life kept smacking her in the face, and she just had to face it and find some kind of meaning in a whirlwind summer.
I’m not sure of much. But I’m sure of her. I’m confident in her story. And to be honest, it’s been my dream to be published for a long time, yet I still have no clue about a lot of things. Will people like it? Will people judge me for posting on social media to promote it? Am I good enough? Will I be completely humiliated if my parents read certain chapters? (Okay that one I am certain of and for the record, I absolutely will.)
But having no clue pairs very well with not giving a f***. Letting passion make decisions and throwing caution to the wind. Because I believe in Rayne’s story, and the journey she takes, and I hope it resonates with readers who might not have read anything quite like her before. She’s as complicated as people come, but isn’t that exciting? Stories are rooted in the complicated, and having no clue, and making choices, and dealing with the consequences. Life isn’t linear, and anyone who’s been sure of everything has missed out on a lot of living. That I’m sure of.
Who doesn’t love a loveable half-made bed with red hair and enough emotional baggage to haul around on a forklift? Rayne is this living, breathing reminder that the best part about not having a clue is finding one eventually, against all odds.
Summer Rayne is the first book in the Shore Summer Series. I can’t wait to watch readers meet Rayne, a twenty-one-year-old train wreck that you can’t help but root for. It’s coming to Olive Press Publishing in 2027.
-Julia ♥
